Fearful to Discipline

Today, my ten year old daughter lied... twice. Well, once was a flat out face-to-face lie and the other was an act of deception. She told me that she cleaned her room as her Dad had asked her to... which I later discovered - after 20 minutes of free time on the computer - that she in fact had not cleaned her room. I can't believe that she would lie about something that we would definitely find out about! It shows that her immature little heart gives into her flesh so completely, she ignores the eminent outcome, which in this case, would most definitely be punishment! And when she was found out, she admitted lying - which I guess was good - but she wasn't remorseful for her sin, she was remorseful for the punishment that awaited her. I sent her back to her room, promising no electronic entertainment for the remainder of the day, and then - the harsher punishment - I followed her into her bedroom to oversee and micro-manage every movement to assure the true cleaning of her bedroom in its entirety. A few hours later, at the dinner table, she picked through her food, as she tends to do, and then said she was done. She hadn't eaten any of the salad, which was very delicious. I told her to eat the salad because I don't just make foods with the ingredients I do to make the meals taste good, I make it with those specific ingredients to fill her growing body with necessary nutrients to nourish her as she matures. I noticed a pile of thinly sliced sun-dried tomatoes. I told her to eat them. She said okay... and then... she sneakily grabbed them into the napkin in her hand! She looked up at me, saw me looking and then hid the napkin! I was so disappointed. I told her to stop everything, go brush her teeth, and go straight to bed. She tried to argue, so I sternly repeated myself. I told her that she will not be permitted to lie! She stomped away, self-assured that I was the monster in this situation. She obeyed me, but as we continued in our evening routine with the babies, she wailed and growled and screamed from behind her bedroom door. She yelled, "You hate me! You don't even care about me!" Apparently, our daughter knows what to say to hurt us. About a half hour into the punishment, Corey and I began to discuss further punishment - this lying had to stop! Corey decided that he would take her to work with him during the time we were supposed to go with other homeschooling friends to the beach. He figures that if he can bore her to death on top of missing out on a fun engagement, it will deter her the next time she's tempted to lie. As we continued into our conversation, we remembered our own childhoods and how we felt that the whole world was against us. Corey said that he was so sensitive and upset when he argued with his mom, that he contemplated suicide! I never contemplated suicide as a child, but I have seen quite a few media programs on TV lately about children killing themselves at alarmingly young ages. Fear crept over me. Jazzmynne is already in what you would call a "high risk" category for anxiety and depression. With ADHD, Tourette Syndrome and OCD, she finds it painful to interact with people and tends to see herself as weird or a nuisance. Add to that a biological father who is extremely selfish and apparently doesn't give a crap, and you've got a volatile solution brewing. I checked on her a few times in her bedroom, just to be sure that she was okay. Suddenly, I found comfort on her temper tantrum - you can only throw a fit if you are alive. It isn't right that we are fearful to discipline. The Bible tells us to drive folly far from our children. It is hard to be strong for your child for their benefit, when you're in fear for their life! I love Jazzmynne. I pray she stops lying - I have no choice, as a good parent, but to have to punish lying. If she thinks she can get away with it, she'll never learn. I know adults who still lie. My mother-in-law is notorious for her lies to do whatever she wants to do. She lies to friends, family, clients.... doesn't even bat an eye until she realizes our disapproval as she brags of her duping someone out of a commitment. I don;t want Jazzmynne to be a liar. Lord, please give me the words to encourage her towards the truth tomorrow morning. I want to encourage her towards godliness and love her towards righteousness. With God, all things are possible. Please take away my fear to discipline.